Sources and references for: Various Ways To Avoid Understanding Oneself

Question:

I understand now how difficult it is to work with drug addicts and alcoholics and cure them. Their decisions are one thing; their actions are another. Perhaps anxiety is ever present and distorts their most promising intentions. I have gradually understood that I am one of them, although in food abuse. I believe that this time I shall and must succeed if my life is to continue.

To be honest, I wonder whether I really see myself as fat although I feel the rolls of fat on my body. In some way I wonder if I don't believe that I am fat. It feels so strange and confusing that I can't manage this situation but I must for my own sake.

I have an image in front of me of how I want to live and then I flee into a dream-world. I managed to read two books during the holiday and it frightens me that it would be enough if I just had books to flee into and then I could live through them. I live completely in the world of The book, and have no wish to be outside it.

I have pondered a great deal, and as I feel just now it is most important to be free in my mind. I want to feel strong. Self-confidence is something I both have and have not. It is hard.

I wanted to tell you something about my thoughts and I hope you are able to understand what I have written. I wonder if you can explain my anxiety and how it eats into me. I want to be a free person so much.

Sources, references:

1. The personal experience of Gunborg Palme, certified psychologist and certified psychotherapist, teacher and tutor in psychotherapy.