Grief

When my wife died I i felt i'd never be with another woman. Because I married her forever, not just for life. Well in walks this girl whom is 14 years younger, model beautiful and I still put her off for one month. Finally we started dating. We had absolutely nothing in common other than a physical attraction and sex.
I feel I've lost two women in my life because we did breakup, and even though my wife[of whom I was married to for twenty years] is the love of my life, I'm still very hurt.
I should probably tell you I went five and a half years without dating.
Can I get over this and move on?
Yes I have had thoughts of suicide, please help me.
I know I should seek therapy, but I'm a musician and because of a dispute in distribution finances, at the moment even with my insurance that's not possible.
Thank you.

Yes you can get over this and move on. Learn from your experiences and try to find a woman with whom you have more in common than physical attraction.