When u don't know the question....

i am 22 female from egypt. i always feel that i am so genious. at my childhood all my teachers say this to me. my friends also say that i am so different. i was having a lot of friends i can gain many friends from any place . but now i dont want to keep any relationships.i am now in faculty of medicine i am not good at learning medicine . but it is anecessary step to study psichatery which i love it so much . i suffered a lot from depression . i feel that allah loves me . but i don't obey him! i feel that i cheat a lot of people by showing them that i am so kind they love me and trust me as i can hear them .also i don't hate people i am so confused i spend alot of time in sleeping and sometimes i dont sleep and feel that sleeping will make me lose time which i must live.i am not optimstic but i help depressed people to be optimisic i don't know what is my question i always take my decisions