When u don't know the question....

i am 22 female from egypt. i always feel that i am so genious. at my childhood all my teachers say this to me. my friends also say that i am so different. i was having a lot of friends i can gain many friends from any place . but now i dont want to keep any relationships.i am now in faculty of medicine i am not good at learning medicine . but it is anecessary step to study psichatery which i love it so much . i suffered a lot from depression . i feel that allah loves me . but i don't obey him! i feel that i cheat a lot of people by showing them that i am so kind they love me and trust me as i can hear them .also i don't hate people i am so confused i spend alot of time in sleeping and sometimes i dont sleep and feel that sleeping will make me lose time which i must live.i am not optimstic but i help depressed people to be optimisic i don't know what is my question i always take my decisions

I think what you are possibly saying is that you feel as though you are being fake because you are depressed and don't feel optimistic but you help other depressed people to be optimistic - I see that in two different ways and it is something that I am evaluating for myself as I often feel that way myself. Firstly - a medical practitioner (doctor) is not always well themselves yet they still treat other people for their illnesses. Being unwell themselves doesn't mean they can't appropriately diagnose and know what the appropriate treatment is for unwell patients. It's not hypocritical to know the answer for someone's needs even though you may not feel wonderful yourself.
Secondly - What better person to treat someone else than someone who can empathize by their own experience. What better way to help yourself than to help others through the same thing.

You know the answer to feeling better - but application of the remedies is not as easy as knowing what the remedy itself is. It doesn't make you a fake just because you are going through a 'bad patch' at the moment. You will learn a great deal from this experience of depression. Life is hard at times and getting through those hard times is what psychology is all about - can you see that this experience will help you greatly in the future if depression and optimism is what you want to be helping others with.