Adult Children

I am having issues with my 25 year old daughter's life and need someone to talk to who will give me positive ways to handle this. I have been accused of meddling in her life too much and I need someone with an objective mind to help me. She cheated on her husband and consequently got a divorce last year. She didn't want to tell us...we found out about it through her friends. She then continued to meet with the much older man she'd had the affair with and myself and husband went balistic on him. He was a player, drunk and ended up saying some awful things about our daughter to other people. He accused us of meddling in her life and that she was an adult and could make her own decisions. We just didn't want to see her getting hurt by this guy which eventually she learned the hard way. Then she started partying heavily and we tried to stay out of that aspect of her life. Now she is going to college and working full time and leased a house for her and 3 of her friends in her name. One of her friends caused a lot of upset in the house and one friend ended up leaving and that left our daughter and the one friend who is difficult to live with. To make a long story short this friend is leaving 2 months early so our daughter is now left to break her lease and the other friend has moved out. I wrote to this friend and told her what I thought of the ordeal and she replied that I shouldn't meddle in my daughter's life. I'm confused and need help trying to determine if I'm truly meddling as she calls it or am I just a loving mother???