Frustrated within and with loved ones

I am fairly young and are supposed to be in my prime time. I have never had any desire or interest in sex at all. I have not seeked any doctors help for any diagnosis for that and I really should, however that is the least of my problems to figure out about at this time.
All of my loved ones don't understand or realize the effects of traumas I had when I was young. I have been to may Therapists and Psychiatrists for my traumas along with many issues I have for a very very very long time. I never told anyone about my traumas (except my Therapists and Psychiatrists) until 2005. I was talking with my mother the other day, and it somehow was brought up. Her and I don't agree on a lot of my thoughts, feelings and emotions about my issues and when the traumas were brought up, she said to me "I think it is odd that it was never brought up or that I never told anyone until 2005 when I returned home from a rehab for one of my issues and that it is just now being brought up."

I attempt to explain and just try to get her to realize the reasons. SHE JUST DIDN'T GET IT! Our conversation then turned into a non yelling argument. Also during our conversation once again we were in a disagreement regarding my other issues.

I am just wanting my loved ones to realize how hard it is to have the issues I have and to maintain management of them. I am just now learning how to accept myself for who I am (not that I really know who I am). I have told many people, including my mother that I am not able to change the person that I was created, but to only have acceptance and cognitive management, however for anyone with traumas and other issues do have the ability to change their behaviors and reactions about them, it ultimately is their decision to do those changes, only they can make the choice for themselves ... NO ONE CAN DO IT FOR THEM!!!!

I am stuck within my issues and cant seem to find a way out ... except for the "EASY WAY OUT"

Sincerely,
Stuck within.

Dearest Stuck within

One thing about parents is that when they have a child who is not coping, inwardly they feel they are at fault in some way. How often have we heard a mother say "Where did I go wrong." It may not be a conscious thought even but generally it is there. She wants you to get better because while you're not, she can only see her own failure.

Also, two people can see things very differently. You could both experience an event say for example, seeing someone falling off a swing. One may see it as funny, the other may see it as horrid and scary.

This may be the case with you and your Mum. She may not be able to see your past as you do simply because she sees it differently. It doesn't mean she can't empathize with you, it just means she can't align herself with the situation in the same way you have lived it. Sympathy is joining in emotionally with the apathy of the situation. You need to perhaps look at it this way when you feel she's being unsympathetic towards you. Would you rather she joined in being really sad about it, or would you rather she had empathy for you and worked towards seeing things in a brighter way.

It is much more helpful and loving to work towards a brighter future than to rehash the past in sorrow and relive that sorrow. I say this with all loving intent... Don't take what is happening now with your mother personally, see it as a gift. I understand that you want to be understood. It would not help you at all if she sympathized with you and emotionally joined you in the trauma you've been through. You don't really want her to feel that sadness, you want her empathy not her sympathy - and it is empathy she is giving you.

Can I offer you a way of communicating so that it doesn't end up in disagreement. When the past is brought up, just say, I can't change my past and the way I experienced things. All I want is to have support NOW in recovering and maintaining myself. The past is in the past, I don't want to relive it, I just want to live for NOW and I need understanding and help to be able to keep moving forward in my experience as it is now.

Keep it simple. That way there can be no misunderstanding.

I hope this helps a little. Blessings.