Social phobia questions.

Hi ,
I'm a 39 year old guy who needs to get some social phobias sorted out. I may have multiple phobias and I'm interested to hear peoples opinions on what issues they think I may have and how best to improve the situation. A little background info: I am not a very confident person, although do vaguely recall as a small child I was more confident, for an unknown reason that changed fairly early in life. I grew up with a happy family life, both my parents were loving and never fought, they are still happily married. I am in introverted personality but that does not justify my behavior. The friends I have made through my life were people who made friends with me, I have never been one to make friends and invite people into my life. I was never abused as a child but like most people suffered bullying at school and briefly at work. I've never been good at bonding with people, women in particular. My main issue is sexual aversion and fear of rejection. Although there have been numerous opportunities I have never been in a relationship and have had few (but enjoyable) sexual encounters. The thought of approaching a woman in a bar to try and pick her up is overwhelming to me, just too hard. The thing which concerns me most is when women try approach me I promptly avoid the confrontation by walking away, I have done this numerous times, it's bordering on being an involuntary reaction. Even when I know the woman is definitely interested and the possibility of rejection from her is virtually nonexistent I still try and stop it. The tendency to resist advances and to not make advances is overwhelmingly strong. I recall a time when when I had a huge crush on a woman and she managed to get talking to me because we had mutual friends, I desperately wanted to be with her and she was making numerous very clear sexual advances toward me but for some reason I could not be proactive and make advances toward her. This behavior went on for weeks as we used to frequent the same bar, every night after going home I would have feelings of regret for not trying anything, each week was the same as the last, she eventually lost interest much to my distress. This behavior is not new to me, my earliest recollection of doing this type of thing was when I was when I was 11 years old, one of my friends jokingly asked a very pretty girl if she would be my girlfriend to which she said yes, I quickly said no way even though I was very attracted to her in every way. The most recent time I averted sexual advances was only a few weeks ago, I was at a bar with the intention of trying and meet girls and there was a group of girls dancing near me, one said "hey, he's cute" her friend turned, looked at me and said "yes he is", I immediately walked off and have regretted it ever since. My aversion is only when sexual advances are being made. If it's a situation where a woman is with her partner and just want's to talk to be sociable, I'm fairly comfortable with that. I do tend to keep everyone at an "emotional arms length" and can be somewhat uncomfortable with meeting new people depending on the situation and who the people are. I really need to get this sorted out. I've heard about NLP as a treatment for phobias but I'm not sure how well it works and if it is suitable for me. The company I work for has a counseling service for employees, it's a free service but I'm not sure if it covers the treatment of this type of condition, I'll have to check that out some more. Anyone have any advice or suggestions.

Thanks