** Re: Crush on younger girl

First of all, i do not have any problems with pedophilia.
I recently turned 18, and my younger sister's 12 year old friend is tall, smart, and mentally as well as socially mature. If i had never seen her, and only spoken to her i would guess her to be about 15. She seems to me to be reluctantly (b/c of age) interested in me.

It started as a joke: we were joking that one day we would get married. I had no interest in her at all when we cracked the joke, but she didn't display any reaction of opposition. Recently she came over to play with my sister and we were all sitting around playing poker when i developed feelings for her. Not a sexual desire at all, Just a raw crush, like a junior high crush kinda feeling. She was sitting next to me, and she asked me a question & looked into my eyes with her cute, beautiful, innocent, blue eyes and i just see awe inspiring beauty and depth. Recently, thoughts of being around her and looking into her eyes and fantasies of hugging her haunt me throughout the day. Every time i hear a love song it makes me think of looking into her eyes and it gets me very depressed and hopeless because i dont know what is wrong with my head.

We also live in a religious society where it is looked down upon to be in a relationship with the opposite sex, until, of course, it is time to date for a suitable marriage partner.

I really need help, I find myself fantasizing about the day when i turn 24 and she will be 18 and i can go ask her out! Sometimes at night I cry and pray to God to help me because i am not able to be with her.

I really dont know what is wrong with me. PLEASE HELP!