Loving Relationship/Affairs with a Married Man

I'm a 32 years old, goodlooking woman, single. A teacher seduced me almost 2 years ago. First I didn't let him approach me, but I was so vulnerable, I had ended my most important 8 years relationship and felt lonely and needed love. He is a married man. At first I said no, he told me that he couldn't bear his wife any longer, that he did not love her any more and that he was in love with me.

After 4 months I said yes and we started with a very intense relationship, I felt absolutely happy, even though I didn't see him every day and we could never stay together at night. He is my teacher, and my master's assessor so we couldn't stop seeing each other. I know it's wrong but I have no friends, and no family here. He is the only person I have. Well we keep this relationship and we are in love with each other. He says he can't leave his wife because he feels so guilty. But now this is happening to me, I just can't be without him, he is my life.

The last time he said we had to end up I felt really bad, actually, I've been looking for some way to suicide, I don't want to do things I used to, I can't sleep for the whole night, I an not hungry. I'm so sad, and I'm so angry because I think he is not loving me anymore and it just can't keep me alive. My next plan is suicide. I don't want an expert to tell me to leave him, because I can't do that, If I leave him, I'm dead.

What is your advice on relationships/affairs with married men?