Occasionally, a certain patient and a certain therapist don't suit each
other because their personalities are so different. But you should not
give up the possibility of success through psychotherapy. Try to find
another therapist you can be more open with who understands you better.
Perhaps group therapy would suit you better. Sometimes this functions very
well for patients who, like you, have sat silent in private therapy. Some
patients function better in a group because they don't need to talk
continually. The thoughts and problems of other group members stimulate
inner development.
The fact that your hair is falling out might be caused by your body being
badly nourished despite an excessive food intake. Bad nourishment also
affects the psyche. You ought to test eating wholesome food and
eliminating junk food which only contains empty calories.
Your grandmother's death was followed by your boyfriend leaving you and
everything becoming unbearable. This resulted in overeating which, of
course, is understandable but won't help you. Most people are
unfortunately subject to grave losses. It is easier to get over them if
you give way to your feelings and cry as much as you need. Overeating
interferes this process. Afterwards you will slowly be able to raise
yourself and get new relationships which are satisfactory.
By using eating as a psychic defense you prevent yourself from
experiencing your grave feelings of mourning and loss, and thus the
solution of your problems is hindered. However, if you follow the advice I
have given you the psychic pain can compel you to try new ways, find new
contacts and improve your life.