I find that I have some anxiety when speaking, especially in social situations. I do not have this problem at all when speaking in front of a group or during a professional presentation, where I am confident and secure in my knowledge of the facts. I feel most anxious with groups of women, or other cliques or "in crowds," who I feel are judging the way I interact and present myself socially. I was criticized very heavily by my stepfather as a child, nearly on a daily basis, and somewhat also by my mother. I think my anxiety is linked to this somehow, but I'm not sure how to deal with this now in my adult life. Are there certain positive affirmations, positive sayings, positive thinking, I can give myself to increase my self-confidence in these situations?
Through affirming ourselves we can reach a certain state of mind. Unfortunately, we too often "affirm" ourselves destructively which make things more difficult for us. This happens automatically. An example of bad affirmation is: "I am embarrassing and ridiculous". But by becoming more aware of what we are doing, we can choose to influence our behaviour in a more constructive way.
To criticize children constantly is not a constructive pedagogic method. Parents who encourage their children help them to succeed
. Both criticism and praise influence one's behaviour. The best method for raising children is based on praising good behavior and ignoring misbehaviour.
If one has not had the best childhood possible, one must try to help oneself. So, affirm what you want to happen. Never repeat to yourself your father's criticism. It is in your mind, but you don't need to use it. You can invent new affirmations that can help you to reach your goals. Repeat those affirmations many times every day, until they start giving results. Always accent the positive, eliminate the negative.
Here are some examples of affirmations:
I am happy, today I am happy, today I am really happy.
I am really charming. Everyone loves me.
I, Mary Johnson, succeeds marvellously in my social life.
Some people make us feel bad and other people make us happy. Listen to your heart and try to avoid those people who make you feel uncomfortable.